User blog:BlurayOriginals/Chillverse 1.0b Chapter 3: The Spada-twit Chronicles

'''Last time on Chillverse 1.0b our..."heroes" Boom and Ciel engaged Isaiah and Ferham in a volleyball battle only to find out Isaiah had been using gawmasse (a special foreign dish that grants the consumer the powers of the average self-insert OC) to win! The battle is however ruined by Spada, the bilingual (Google Translate using) ninja who has one goal: make some introverted stuttering fox unleash an inner evil inside him, given to him by some random Street Fighter crossover character. To unleash this evil Spada wounds Sal the Echidna, Reggie's girlfriend with an enriching personality no one cares about because she has boobs! Spada has ass-yanked a technique to trap our heroes inside a sand tornado and Reggie's now gone on a rampage! It's time for Boom, Ciel, Night, Blu, Abercrombie,  Isaiah and Ferham to band together and save the world from sure detruction.'''

Oh, you can unpause now.

(Reggie reverts from a single frame watercolor portrait back into the standard series animation because anime is 22cool)

Reggie: (still dashing at Spada) SPADA YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!! Raaaa--

Spada: You said that last episode. Why are you saying it again?

Evil Reggie: BECAUSE IT'S BEEN MONTHS SINCE THEN! NO ONE REMEMBERS!!!! RAAAAAAAAA--

Spada: Oh yeah. Um-- AAAAAH! U-uh, Boom felt Sal's boobs once!

Evil Reggie: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (turns artound and dashes towards Boom with 10x more power)

Ferham: Spada stabs her but Boom feels her up and HE'S getting attacked. Nice priorities.

Boom: Ah! Reggie wait! Sal came on to me! I was wearing these glasses and--

Evil Reggie: NO JOHNS!

Doom: (divekick's Evil Reggie's face right before he attacks Boom, sending Reggie careening into the sand) Foolish Reggie! Only I may kill Boom!

Ferham: Haven't you already done that. Like, 5 times. I'm pretty sure the last time you did it was last wee---

Doom: Silence wench! I do what I want! No one can kill him but me! He's MY toy, mine, mine MINE!

Isaiah: Shut up arrogant douche before I cut you up with a Destructo Disc.

Doom: What did you just say you insolent--

(Doom and Isaiah devolve into arguing)

Abercrombie: Who dat?!?!one/1!

Night: That purple jerk? That's Doom. Some rude jerk-off who ruins my waifu Boom's life every other Tuesdays. Kills him a lot, tore off his arm, murdered his dad etcetera. He's an awful no good sadistic son of a bitch!! Even worse is that he's really strong, so now matter how hard we try or how many times we revive the bae, Doom will come back stronger! I heard he feeds off the negative emotions of others....

Abercrombie: How come I no know this?!

Night: Irrelevant background characters don't get the episode synopsis memos anymore? Who would've thought.

Abercrombie: Oh...

Ciel: (breaks up Isaiah and Doom) Enough bakas! Boom, you fight Reggie because you're the protag! The rest of us will fight Spada's grunts that die in one hit so we look le epik while Spada stands and laughs evily at the chaos. >:|

Isaiah: Nah bitch. Isaiah time!

(Isaiah jumps at Evil Reggie (who still has his face in the sand) only to be violently deflected into Abercrombie by a barrier that appeared out of no where)

Ciel: Whadda' ya' know Isaiah? A main protag barrier so that you can't join the fight. Sorry kid >|)

Isaiah: (talks mad shit in his mind because he can't step up) <Bitch)

Boom: Let's settle this Reggie. (stands likea DBZ character powering up) AAAAAAAAAAAAA-- oh I mean uh, CURSE MARK HURTS!

(Boom glows rbightly before getting Curse Mark markings and SSJ3 quills)

Boom: This is my Super Mark 3 Form, granted to me by my Chaos infused Azure Grimoire arm.

Evil Reggie: Subtle exposition there champ.

Boom: Well aren't we feeling snarky today kiddo. Not your usual trembling self, huh?

Evil Reggie: Of course not! With Akuma's power I'm strong! Stronger than ever! And I can take on anyone! Even you (the protag!!!!!!!!!!)! My Evil form is of another calibur! It is the echelon of perfection! It's power is unmatched throughout the universe--

Boom: Blah, blah, blah we get it kid, you think you're 1337 or whatever. Real original name by the way "Evil" Reggie.

Evil Reggie: ....YOU AREN'T CLEVER!!!!!!!!! (dashes towards Boom)

Boom: For a demon filled savage it sure is strange for you to still be attacking people you know you love even though you aren't possessed.

Reggie: sorry don't try to fix the convoluted plot now it's too late.

Boom: damn. Oh well. (dashes towards Evil Reggie before it cuts away to the others)

Isaiah: (killing 24 grunts with ease) Not being "protagonist" eats ass. (mumbles) I'll be protag one day Boom, mark my words. Then you'll see...

Ciel: Lighten up Isaiah! At least we're helping :3

Isaiah: Whatever.

Night: Doom, why're you here if you hate us? Are you here to murder Boom again!?

Doom: Nah, I'm taking a week off.

Night: Ah. Then why're you struggling to fight those grunts? I'm 190% sure you can kill everyone in this sand tornado in one hit. How did you even get in here if the tornado was alre--

Doom: oh yeah lol I was just here to be a doomeus ex machina thx kid. (phases through the tornado and ditches them)

Night: ...dick.

(Cuts back to Spada)

Spada: OH GOD I'M SO EVIL! YES! MUWAHAHAHAHH!! MUWA--

Sal: (stands up using part of her sleeve to cast her wound, then picks up the kunai of a fallen grunt and sneaks up behind Spada, slashing him in the back)

Spada: Ah!! (falls onto the ground, blooding coming from his back)

Sal: For a ninja you sure make quite the scene. Never read a history book have you?

Spada: (touches his back and looks at the amount of blood on his hand) Y-you bitch! You'll pay for this!

Sal: Save it! You'll be the one paying soon enough! Once I get Reggie back it'll be all of us against you! I won't let you come between us or any of my friends you random hammerpsace pulled villa--

'''Sorry guys. Sal's talking to much. That might lead to character development. We can't have that can we. Boob jokes are WAY more valuable than a personality. lol let's go back to the TRUE characters.'''

Boom: This fight is so cool! It's almost as if I'm Goku and you're Buu, huh Reggie?



Evil Reggie: Quiet! You're the only Buu here! Trying to steal my girl! HADOKEN!

Boom: Actually it's spelled "Hadouken". (dodges out of the way last second)

Boom: Reggie, you don't have to do this! You have to listen to me! I didn't mean to tap Sal! I was wearing these glasses that made almost every girl in the world wanna bang!

Evil Reggie: That sounds SO convoluted.

Boom: Even more so than THIS plot?

Evil Reggie: ...go on.

Boom: We care about you! Sal is OK and if you just listen you could help us stop Spada!

Evil Reggie: Hmm... (looks over at Spada and Sal)

Sal: ...and you won't steal that away  from me!

Spada: (claps) Nice tl;dr speech there, but it's over. You're nothing more than a sideshow thot. How can you expect to take me on in a battle.

Sal: If you were a real ninja you would've tried to AVOID conflict rather than start it. You're nothing more than a cosplayer trying to be cool!

Spada: (gets in her face) How dare you! I'll have you know that I'm the best ninja around! I speak 5 languages, have practiced over 10 types of combat styles and have over 300 confirmed kills! Believe it!

Sal: Oh, RIGHT I'm sure! Google Translate, Dragon Ball and Call of Duty kills don't count! I bet you're just a Narutard in disguise!

Spada: You bitch!

Sal: Jerk!

Spada: (leans in for a kiss)

Sal: lol wut

Spada: I-I thought this was the part where we--

Sal: No. It isn't.

Spada: idc (begins making out with her)

Evil Reggie: ...You're right Boom. Let's go save the day!

Boom: Yeah man!

Isaiah: (offscreen) I HATE ALL OF YOU

Boom: No one cares, LET'S GO REGGIE!

Evil Reggie: (nods and dashes towards them)

Ferham: Whoa, they're still making out. A record 30 seconds--

Evil Reggie: (runs Ferham over) SHUT UP.

Sal: (struggling to escape)

Evil Reggie: Sal!!!! I'm coming!

Sal: MM...MM!! (shanks Spada in the back again right before Evil Reggie decks him in the face, sending Reggie past them)

Spada: GOD DAMN BITCH YOU'RE CRAZY!

Sal: You weren't running out of breath!?!

Spada: Breath through your nose honey!

Sal: Ugh! Whatever.

Evil Reggie: HADOUKEN!

Spada: (is sent flying) CURSE YOU! YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU MESSED WITH ME! RUE I SAY, RUE! BODY FLICKER JUT--

Sal: (raises an eyebrow)

Spada: I mean, teleport!!!!!!!!! (teleports him and his ninjas away)

(The sand tornado disappears)

Evil Reggie: (turns back to normal)

Sal: (catches him) You OK?!

Reggie: (nods)

Reggie: (stands up blushing) So...

Sal: So...

Reggie and Sal: (hug)

Boom: Everything is right with the world.

Ciel: (hugs Boom)

Ferham: (hugs Isaiah)

Night: (hugs Boom)

Boom: (except he doesn't because Boom punts him to the ocean)

Night: (RIP)

Abercrombie: (still waiting for someone to hug him)

Reggie: Sal...can I ask you something?

Sal: Anything Reggie.

Reggie: (gets on one knee) W-will you marry me?

Sal: ..what?

Reggie: (gulps) Will you marry me?

Sal: aren't we 16

Reggie: Yeah but...I want to spend the rest of my life with you

Sal: I'm flattered but um... (thinking) Narrarator help me out!

Reggie: bru--

TP END_________________________________________________________________

'''And so everything was turned back to normal and the villainous Spada was defeated, sent to live another day! What sort of crazy things will our heroes encounter next time? Stay tuned and find out!'''

Audience Voice: What happened to Blu? He was in the last episode but he just disappeared!

'''Truth be told, I couldn't find anything clever for him to say that intertwines with tropes. He wasn't that important to this episode anyway so whatever, see you have a beautiful time!'''