User blog:BlurayOriginals/Chillverse 1.0b Chapter 2: The Secret Dish

'''Last time on Chillverse 1.0b! Isaiah the Hedgehog Hedgewolf Red Wolf Irish Wolfhound had returned for revenge with his girlfriend Ferham Spades in tow. There objective was to get sweet, hot revengeance on Boombomb the Hedgehog who had nailed him in the face with a volleyball 2 years prior to the series! The name of the game was volleyball where Boom and Ciel feverishly worked to keep up against their rivals! Both teams have managed to keep each other at bay but for how long can they? Find out: NOW.'''

Ciel: (still breathing heavily)

Boom: Yo bitch, you need your inhaler or something?

Ciel: (shakes head) i’m a fucking android don’t call me bitch again or i’ll bash ye fookin ead in. sware on me mum

Boom: (sassy face) Androids don’t have parents.

Ciel: ...shut up.

Boom: All this backtalking is making me horny. let’s fuck

Ciel: (looks slyly at Isaiah) you know it

(The two begin to have the sassier of times)

Isaiah: OH GOD, SHE’S TRYING TO PISS ME OFF. (Vomits on the sand)

Ciel: (gets up and throws Boom off to the side)

Boom: (being thrown) I WASN’T FINISHED!

Ciel: Really Isaiah, no need to be such a di-- (trips and falls face first into the puke)

Isaiah: (bursts out laughing) What a bitch. (proceeds to take a small bag out of his pocket and eat it’s contents)

Ferham: (laughs in addition, making Isaiah laugh even more now that he has the comfort of knowing she approves)

Boom: (pulls pants up) That’s not funny!

Ciel: (gets up)

Boom: Are you alright Ciel?!

Ciel: (licks her lips) Yeah. >:/

Boom: That’s good.  So uh...who's serve is it?

Isaiah: idk

Boom: …

Isaiah: …

Boom: …

Isaiah: …

Boom: 

Boom: (gets the ball) OK. (serves it)

Isaiah: (uses the knee of justice on the ball)

Ciel: (eyes sparkle as she jumps up and reflects the ball back)

Isaiah: (jumps up and smacks it back) HELL NAW!

Ciel: (begins floating because well, she can do that now because I want her to) HELL YAH! >:(

(Isaiah and Ciel engage in DBZ style struggling, hitting the ball back and forth)

Boom: When did Ciel get so good?!

Ciel: WHAT BITCH?! >>:(

Boom: nvm

Ciel: I REFUSE TO LOSE ISAIAH |:0

Isaiah: OH YEAH! WELL, WELL--

(The ball suddenly teleports onto the sand on Ciel’s side)

Boom: ...wtfhax

Isaiah: yah bby (lands like goku) you just got memed

Ferham: Nice one Isaiah!

Ciel: It’s not over yet Isaiah! >:\ (picks up the ball and serves it in a strange rainbow arc)

Boom: whoa

Isaiah: (hits it up and hits it horizontally with not much power)

Ciel: Getting weak Zay? >:} (runs forward to serve it as it barely goes over the net)

Isaiah: not even close. (bumps high up)

Ciel: ??? /:(

Isaiah: kmhmh (shoots a Kamehameha that vaporizes the ball and smooshes Ciel into the sand)

Boom: ...WTF IS THAT EVEN LEGAL

Isaiah: No rules. All I know is that it’s your ball

Boom: YOU VAPORIZED THE BALL YOU TWAT! WHERE ARE WE GONNA--

Abercrombie: (vomits another ball similar to how Piccolo vomits eggs)

Boom, Isaiah and Ferham: (in pure horror)

Abercrombie: (tosses to Isaiah) KEEP PLAYIN’! (claps)

Boom: ...ok. (looks into the hole) CIEL?! ARE YOU ALRIGHT!

Ciel: (jumps out of the hole with lots of battle damage and ripped clothing) Yeah I’m alright >:(

Boom: You sure you can keep playing?

Ciel: (nods)

Boom: ...alright

Isaiah: (serves)

Ciel: (jolts up into the air at the speed of 10000000 billion light years ((that’s her speed)) and spikes the ball into Isaiah’s side)

Isaiah: Whoa….

Ciel: Ready when you are.

And so Ciel and Isaiah (yeah, Ferham and Boom sort of took a backseat) dueled furiously for 5 hours, none ever gaining more than 2 points over each other.

Boom: ...we never really established a winning score did we?

Ferham: (shakes head)

Boom: (thought) Ugh. How are they so good?! Just a few minutes before Ciel fell in the puke she could barely keep up. But now… (outloud) Wait a sec!

Ferham: ?

Boom: No not you stay over there.

Ferham: (sad)

Isaiah: (drinking a soda, lifting a weight with his dick (flaccid) and using his tail to tie his shoe while still tying with Ciel) watch it moobbomb

Shred: OOOOOOOOOOH

Boom: ...who’re you

Shred: Isaiah’s brother.

Boom: ...ok. (thought) It’s obvious what Isaiah’s been using!



Boom: That’s it! Gawmasse!

Shred: ...G-Gawmasse?

(The screen fades to black as Boom stands alone in the darkness, the light only shining him as he dawns a grim expression)

Boom: Gawmasse...a food I first discovered in one of my missions in White Jungle Edge Jungle. While I was fighting off this one guy 10x bigger than me I couldn’t get the jump on him. It was happening to me. I had seen it on the news all the time that people’s abilities were becoming...God like. Soon after I heard that one of those very people had kidnapped a group of civilians and being the badass hero I was.

Shred: (thought) Arrogant douche.

Boom: I rushed after to save him. I was mercilessly pummeled. “But how?!” I thought. All my attacks and dodges...rendered null and void. What was I to do? Then I saw… As I pretended to be knocked out to see what he wanted from the civilians and to plan a sneak attack I saw him open up his backpack--

Shred: Badass villain had a backpack?

Boom: ...Yeah. Wouldn’t you? He pulled out a plastic bag with a substance that looked like a very foreign but exquisite dish. Two of my brain cells proceed to create enough friction to tell me “Hey, bad guys don’t stop in the middle of a beating to eat, something’s up with that dish!”. So I did what any reasonable man would do and shot the Gawmasse out of his hand!...by shooting his hand.

Shred: Stan Smith expy confirmed.

Boom: SHUT UP NO ONE WANTS TO REMEMBER THOSE DAYS! Anyway after I did that he got really butthurt and explained WHY he was really butthurt. Then I snapped his spine in half and saved all the civilians… (whispers) and got a hefty bj from one of the hot babes

Ciel: WHY YOU >:0 (smacks the ball to Boom and uses her new found telekinetic powers to bring the ball to her)

Shred: Haha. Karma.

Boom: (paper flat) that’s my line. (turns back to normal and the black background restores) So obviously when Isaiah came to exact his revenge he had ALREADY eaten gawmasse! Ciel used her totally programmed before vital scanners--

Shred: You wouldn’t program vital scanners in YOUR android?

Boom: shred shut the fuck up and stop being rude.

Shred: ...k (thought) fag

Boom: Anyway she detected the gawmasse floating inside Isaiah and thus decided to make him puke so she could dive head first into that shit and godmod as well! (black background finally fades)

Shred: ...wouldn’t Isaiah have lost all his gawmasse powers since he vomited?

Boom: He ate some more right after he vomited.

Shred: Well I wasn’t HERE for that was I?

Abercrombie: I WAZ1~`111!!!!

Boom: ...that’s nice, but how are we gonna end this?

Abercrombie: BAN THEM FROM THE CHAT ROOM FOR BLATANT GODMOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boom: ...but then i won’t get a hefty bj

Shred: Good point…

Spada: I think I can be of assistance.

Shred: Who are you?

Boom: Besides no offense, you look like a bad guy tbh.

Spada: ...

Boom: ...oh shi--

Spada: (uses sleeping gas to knock them both unconscious, puts on a gas mask and begins thinking to himself) Now that I distracted those two twats I can focus on my main goal. (he gazes across the beach) Sal the Echidna and Regginald “My Body Is Somewhat Ready But I’ll Continue to Hide the Fact it is around you” “Reggie” the Bat. You are the key to this world’s destruction.

Spada’s Men: should we kill boombomb and shred?

Spada: Nah they shouldn’t wake up for a few more hours.

Bluray: (uses totally balanced psychic powers) [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HighlyVisibleNinja Never knew ninjas were so conspicuous. Night did you see that?!]

Night: (asleep) Wha…

Sal: (trying to have an intelligent and engaging conversation with Reggie as her tits wag everywhere...like two balls of jello-- BRB I HAVE TO USE BATHROOM)

Reggie: (nods agreeingly as he stares)

Spada’s Men: (watching via binoculars) Appears distracted. What do we do?

Spada: (rolls his eyes) Stupido, cornea poco adolescente. Il suo cazzo, così come l'ondata di intenti omicida sarà la sua e la rovina del suo mondo! Rispettivamente naturalmente. Sono così felice Akuma il Devilhog il carattere totalmente ORIGINALE E UNSTOLEN gli ha dato. (puts a picture of Sal’s boobies where she was sitting, gags her and takes her away)

Sal: (struggling and begins waving her body violently) Google Translate doesn't make you a master of the language you twit! Let me go! (continues struggling)

Spada: Foolish girl. Don’t you know what happens when someone with your size breasts struggles like that.

Sal: (taking recoil damage from her tits) 100%, 80%, 40%, 30% (gets knocked out with swirls for eyes)

Spada: ALL too easy.

Blu: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KidHero ...we have to go help! Right Night?]

Night: Imma White Night!

Blu: Heh.

Reggie: ...WTF THIS ISN’T SAL!

Spada: But this is. (holding her by her hair)

Reggie: W-who are you?! What do you want from Sal?

Spada: Stay back. I will not hesitate.

Reggie: … (thought) Let me think about this. He’s about 7 feet from me and has the knife 1 centimeter from her stomach… (outloud) I can rush him! (dashes)

Spada: ...YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT. (stabs Sal’s stomach and throws her bleeding body in front of Reggie)

Reggie: Sal...no!...NO! NO! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS YOU BASTARD?

Spada: Why did you try to rush me like a retard? It’s obvious you weren’t gonna be fast enough.

Reggie: (thought) My friends were right...I’m NOT fast enough. (begins crying)

Spada: Coward. A child. Only such a mockery of a warrior would dare to shed tears over their fallen comrade. (takes a battle stance) Come Reggie! Engage me in combat!

Reggie: s-she...was more than a comrade…

Spada: Hmm?

(Really Inspirational Music That Tells You Naruto Is Gonna Tell Someone He’s More Than Just a Child, He’s Also a Ninja)

This one?

Yeah, that one. Sort of.

Reggie: SHE WAS MY HITTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (begins transforming into Evil Reggie)

Spada: Gullible fool. Now to take out the primary targets before letting this maggot raise hell.

Evil Reggie: (begins creating a sandstorm around him)

Blu: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NarratingTheObvious Whoa! Reggie’s turned into Evil Reggie!]

Night: ...why did you say that outloud. How do you even know he’s called Evil Reggie? What if it’s Demon Reggie or something? How do you even know who Reggie is?! HAVE YOU EVEN FUCKING MET REGGIE?!

Blu: ...Would you be willing to believe we both go to Hareta Asa--

Night: Seems legit.

Ciel and Isaiah: (blinded by sandstorm) MY EYES!!!!! ( -^-)

Isaiah: EARTH BASED ATTACK! (begins earth bending the sand away)

Ciel: HAND FAN! (begins blowing the sand away) >:0

Spada’s Men: (both go up and sock Isaiah and Ciel in the stomach causing them to vomit their Gawmasse.)

Ciel: i can’t feel my ovaries )|-(

Isaiah: i can’t believe isaiah jr. is dead

Spada: Greeting worms. I am Lord Spada. And I’m going to kill you all.

Ferham: Why?

Spada: ...who’re you.

Ferham: I’m Ferham Spa--

Spada: ...are you Isaiah’s girlfriend?

Ferham: Yes.

Spada: ...oh my god I forgot one of them existed.

Ferham: ...Wow, uh that hurt.

Spada: No matter, you’ll all be assimilated or eliminated soon enough.

Blu: that rhyme was...so sublime.

Spada’s Men: (locate and proceed to aim kunai at Blu and Night)

Night: Nice going jackass.

Reggie: SPADA YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!! (jumps at Spada and the screen fades to one of those anime waterpaint like portraits)

Like this: ? …

…

…

i couldn’t find one

nice job

Can Boom wake up in time to save his friends because he’s the fucking protagonist. Will Bluray stop being so genre savvy? Will Reggie realize he could’ve taken Sal to the hospital instead of having a bitch fit? Will Isaiah stop being a dick? All these questions and more will be answered on the next Chillverse 1.0b!