User blog:ApolloFlare/The Status of My "Heart"

I know that the world doesnt revolve around me....and I know alot of people are going through the same things out there. But I feel that I should tell you my dearest friends. and my closest of rivals how I feel about the current major events that are happening to me.

Also please refrain from saying any rude or malice remarks in the comments section below.

My Current Status
As most of you know..I am currently looking for a job so that I may learn how to support myself and my family and to try to get my self out there in the social world. I havent compltely taken this seriously enough until recently. Ive let down so many people in life and I want to make shure I show them I am capiable of doing something on my own.

But in doing so. My Mother is against my actions in trying to find a good first well second place of employment  in a place I would feel confertable working in. And the constant arguments are getting relentless..... one after another.

SS3K Knows this because I explained this to him in Private Chat. And was the reason i was AFK when Eternal came on. So if you wanted to start Part II of The EXE Virus Saga. Im sorry. THIS is the reason why I was afk:.... My Step-Father's fail parenting. He yells and punishes like my brother is a slave. And As much as I hate on him. I feel sorry. The guy doesnt know how to talk to people and often gets into trouble. But his father thinks its nothing but bullcrap and does nothing but fuel my brother's annoying rage ad anger by threatening him and acting like a douche.

His voice even breaks through the brick walls of my grandmother's house and he WAITS until both my Mother and my grandmother are gone out of the house for him to go in and begin to scold him and make hypritical statements.

Which often makes me wonder....why must I live though this....why cant i just go stand in the road and go to the eternal sleep by being road kill..... I just want all of this to end....i feel the darkness of everything form in my heart...

Say what you wish but.....I want to cry but the tears dont come out....I feel cursed and ..... hearless..... and that is where Anti Apallo comes in...he is every bit of darkness that is inside of me. How creul he can be in a TP or RP from here on...comes from the rage I keep inside of me and the tears from my enternal suffuring... How he doesnt want to be EXE and wants to have his own body and how he hates his Light the Original Pure Apallo The Hedgehog.

So please understand...this crap happens everywhere but I feel that you guys deserve to know how broken and ... and.... im about to have that choaking feeling again....i better stop this...but yea....this is what goes on in my home....everyday..... so..please consider this as a message from the light in my soul telling you that she is suffering.... because of the darkness inside of me..from the pain of living in this house....


 * With Love


 * Apallo The Hedgehog